Why healing your life is like getting dressed.

There are some beliefs we carry around with us without ever noticing them. Because they are not true, they cast a dark shadow over how we approach life in general. We feel the dark effects of the shadow but we don’t see the shadowy belief obstructing our light.

A common belief that often sits just behind feelings of frustration, stuckness, helplessness or despair is the idea that we don’t have everything we need.

You know, everything we need to…you fill in the blank with whatever is troubling you.

The other day I was talking to a friend about an event we are going to. I heard myself saying something I had been thinking for weeks: “I have nothing to wear”. I believed it. I have been frustrated, spending time online looking for an outfit. I have been agonizing about having (having!!!!) to spend lots of money on a new outfit when I want to spend my money elsewhere. I have been creating such drama in my life and wasting time and potentially money, all based on the thought “I have nothing to wear”.

My husband and I have just bought new closets for our home. Closets that are full of my clothes. The statement “I have nothing to wear” is patently ridiculous given that I have closets full of clothes. In my house.

When I heard myself say this untrue thing out loud to my friend, I knew enough to stop right there. The next thing I said was “What do I have that I could wear to this event?” Ideas started to flow. My creativity came online. The truth that I have lots of things I could wear became obvious.

This is a superficial example, but I think it is exactly how we often approach challenges in life.

We believe we don’t have what we need to move forward. We treat the treasure of our internal world the way I was treating my vast collection of attire. Like it is worthless. Or worse, like it does not exist. We waste energy, time, money, and often self-respect looking outside for answers.

I want to offer you the belief that you ALWAYS have EVERYTHING you need inside of you.

Always.

Our interior world is a vast universe of resources and solutions.

Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) designates qualities to our ever-present, unbreakable essential self (Self with a capital S in IFS lingo). These qualities are always available to us in the internal world. Qualities we can always call on to help us take perfect care of ourselves and our lives.

Compassion. Clarity. Connection. Courage. Creativity. Calm. Curiosity. Confidence.

Do you see how valuable all these internal resources are when it comes to managing ourselves and our life?

While these qualities get obscured by erroneous beliefs, they are always present and available.

One of the easiest qualities of our vast, wise essential self to tap into is curiosity. You just need to ask a question.

In my “attirical” example I formulated the question “What do I have that I can wear to this event?” and I was off to the races. Literally.

Helpful questions might be “What would it look like if I could do this?” “How could this happen?” “How am I ok right now?” “What do I need to feel better in this moment?” Over time, you get better and better at asking great questions that elicit creativity and clarity.

When you put a good question into your brainbox, you set your subconscious mind into motion looking for ideas. Your brain just loves a good puzzle, so give it good puzzles to solve.

I already have everything I need inside of me.

Close your eyes. Ignore the stories your mind wants to tell you. See how that statement feels in your body.

If you want to tap into your internal resources in a regular, focused way to create more goodness in your life, book a free 1-hour life coaching consult with me.